Thursday, July 11, 2013

One Year Ago today...

One year ago today, I was staring at a dark, hairy-headed baby, a puffy-faced stranger laying asleep in my arms thinking, 'This kid is MINE? Forever?! What do I do with her?' (see the birth story here)

She slept ALL the time and I just sat there and watched her, in awe of God and the miracle of life, amazed at the deep love he immediately gives us for our newborn babies the instant we meet them. Amazed at God's words in Psalm 139, that before He even knits us together in the womb, He has ordained every one of our days. In days to follow, I was struck hard at the new realization of what love unearned and undeserved is like, love without condition; the way God loves us, before we have done a thing to earn it.  This truth has seeped in more deeply throughout this past year and makes me just love God so much more!

I remember those first weeks as a mom, being so excited, overwhelmed, unsure, and exhausted :). I thought that time would pass by SO slowly (and some days seemed to). I remember looking at the few 12 month outfits we had for her hanging up in the closet and thinking the day was SO far away when she would be wearing them. She was SO TINY...and those outfits looked SO BIG. I couldn't imagine her toddling around in them, pushing a shopping cart through our living room, giving me a goofy smile as she walked towards me saying, "BUP mama!" (wanting to be picked up).

This girl. So big. So precious. So fun! She never stops moving, is always exploring, pointing at everything and talking to us in her new baby language. My heart explodes just thinking of her. Every month has brought such huge change, and my love for her has grown deeper and deeper the more I get to know her. This parenting thing is awesome. God has taught me SO many life lessons through her. I know the next couple years of toddler-hood will have many new challenges but I know as I take it day by day, God will give me the patience, grace, and wisdom I need with her.

So here she is. My ONE YEAR OLD!
Her whale-themed pool party

You are my bestest buddy and I don't even know what I did before you came into our lives! This year has been INCREDIBLE and we love you so much!

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